Food Archives - Page 3 of 7

The Medium-Rare Letter: Burger Shaming at Eggslut in Causeway Bay

February 14, 2024March 26, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

I may be very well late to the game with this one. But I still don’t have an iPhone, I’ve never posted an Instagram story (and am not really sure how), and like Dr. Dre (aka Dre Brickhard the Mechanic) I still rock my khakis with a cuff and a crease (“still the beats bang, still doing my thing, since I left ain’t too much changed”).

As a mindless, YouTube food show fiend, I was no stranger to an infamous L.A. breakfast sandwich and burger restaurant that, in name, appearance, and taste, appeals to both the gastronomic and prurient interests of generations cursed by crippling social media addictions and narcissism. I mean, with a name like ‘Eggslut’, it was set to catch your attention no matter what – even for those who take qualms with the crassness of its etymology.

That’s ‘Marketing 101’ right there.

I didn’t take as long as I did to patronize this promiscuous chicken restaurant because of any sort of moral high ground or pseudo-intellectual protest against social media self-aggrandizing, I just simply didn’t know that there was a location in Hong Kong. So, when I found out there was a (relatively) recently opened branch in Causeway Bay, I clucked with excitement and knew I better taste it before the sky inevitably falls.

On the second day of Chinese New Year, after a quick gym sesh, I kept my smelly running shoes on and chicken ran out to this former fishing town turned densely populated mini-city of consumeristic tribalism to see if Eggslut’s burger was just fowl or actually foul.

Here’s what I found.

I Narrowly Escaped Death at a Fugu Restaurant in Osaka

February 11, 2024July 16, 2024Asia, Food, Japan BigBody Leave a Comment

I kind of feel like Blake Lively in her opening monologue of that underwhelming 2012 action-thriller, Savages, when she stonerishly says, “Just because I’m telling you this story doesn’t mean I’m alive at the end of it. This could all be pre-~~recorded~~ written and I could be ~~talking~~ writing to you from the bottom of the ocean.” You know, minus the Mexican Cartel, Salma Hayek (and Benicio del Toro), and strange (and steamy) sexual throuple with a Navy Seal and marijuana grower.

Fugu (aka pufferfish) is one of those foods that you hear ~~nonchalantly~~ condescendingly tossed around in conversation, by the likes of that one couple friend who always seems to fly Cathay business to Japan, Bali, or whatever nearby Asian destination needs to be ticked off their gastronomic checklist. It’s a delicacy. It’s divisive. It’s (allegedly) deadly.

I had to find out for myself whether a “dance with the devil” (Immortal Technique-style) was in my immediate future and decided to tempt fate. So, I threw my finest Orix Buffaloes baseball jersey and stretch-fit jeans on and headed to a fugu restaurant just 15 minutes to the west of Osaka Castle (in Osaka Japan, of course) to check it out for myself.

Read on to find out if I survived or if I’m writing this from the bottom of the ocean with Blake and Amelia Earhart. I’ll also explain what fugu actually is and why it should be on your radar should you make a trip over to Japan.

Ballin’ on a Brisket in Sai Kung: Rossi’s Pizza & Smoked Meats

February 9, 2024February 9, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

At first, I had written several paragraphs on how brisket was at the heart of the American identity. Frankly, it was superfluous. I took a step back, looked at my scraggly Scorcese eyebrows in the mirror, and realized that brisket is a universal language and that there was no need to complicate great food with patriotism, geopolitics, and intersectional social justice.

In Asia, you can find BBQ. Can you find great BBQ? Not often. And when you do, there’s a high probability that whatever restaurant it is, doesn’t serve brisket. There’s a labor of love and a high margin of error when it comes to smoking it, primarily due to space and time (sung like Mos Def in ‘Travelin’ Man’) requirements.

Having lived in Hong Kong for over six years now (and experienced the city at various stages of its political decline), there has been very little in terms of reliable, high-quality BBQ. Sure, you can get a rack of ribs and some cornbread, and it feels familiar – but how often do you walk away actually (a) full, (b) satisfied, (c) not broke, and (d) feeling it was done proper justice? Rarely.

But then I ate at Rossi’s Pizza and Smoked Meats in Sai Kung. And to quote my dawg T-Pain on Maino’s hit song, ‘All the Above’. Rossi’s checked off…All. The. Above. I always naively assumed that the apex of Western cuisine in Hong Kong was typically situated on Hong Kong Island (or in the likes of one of the five-star hotels in Tsim Sha Tsui). But this article is written to shatter that misconception and to cartoon Batman-slap myself back into reality.

I Tested the All You Can Eat & Drink Limit at Aqua’s Free-Flow Weekend Brunch

February 4, 2024April 23, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

“If the limit never approaches anything, the limit does not exist.” – Mean Girls

There isn’t any institution or activity in Hong Kong that strikes both fear and joy into the hearts of chubby, balding, expat bankers and social media marketing evangelists (who create day-in-the-life TikTok reels) quite like the free-flow brunch. And very much like Mark Mcguire and Sammy Sosa of the infamous home run battle in the summer of ‘98, there are only two real names: Aqua and Zuma.

Considering I’ve already written about Zuma’s free-flow brunch and sung its praises, it was only time that I ponied up and made my way across the Harbor to its Darkside (Kowloon) counterpart – Aqua – to test the free-flow food and booze brunch limit and capture the love (and attention) of the dreamy Aaron Samuels from calculus.

So, I gathered a gaggle of Frenchmen (Mes frères – aka ‘The Revolution’), threw on the one nice outfit that I own (no, not my ‘Official Bikini Inspector’ t-shirt), made sure I was in bed by 9:30 PM the previous night, and Steamboat Willie strutted (only using this reference because the copyright is in the public domain now) my way over to Tsim Sha Tsui for I day I wouldn’t forget, or remember, or forget, or remember…

A Man-Date at One of My Favorite Izakayas in Hong Kong: Uoharu

January 4, 2024January 4, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

The first time I went to Uoharu was on a date where mid-way through, after watching her nod off face-first into her grilled mackerel and sake, I learned that she was on Clydesdale-sized doses of lithium. Somehow, after assurances it was just a fluke, the date continued. I spent the remainder of the night eating Scotch eggs at Stockton – while she subsequently nodded off again in the leather booth adjacent – and slugging fresh-off-the-tap cocktails from Draft Land – while she nodded off one more time on the stool next to me.

After the dust settled, I let her know that I had a nice time but I didn’t think we were compatible, to which she sent me a relatively accurate description of myself and one that makes me chuckle to this day. “You are a big sweaty piece of man meat.” I left out the accompanying expletives. This insult is only second to when a rotund Indian man with a handlebar mustache in Bangkok barked out at me, “Where do you think you’re going Daddy Longlegs?” after I hurried past him on Sukhumvit 11.

I digress. Uoharu’s seafood and robatayaki izakaya fare was the driving reason for my initial perseverance and self-convincing in the bathroom that “These things happen” and “I’m sure that she just had a long day.” I ~~needed~~ craved Uoharu redemption and returned countless times over the subsequent years, with it solidifying itself as one of my all-time favorite izakayas in Hong Kong.

Is the Diplomat the Best Burger in Hong Kong?

December 24, 2023March 26, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

There was one name that kept popping up over and over when I kept searching online for the best burger in Hong Kong – and it wasn’t from a traditional burger and fry joint like Five Guys or Burger Circus. There was something hypnotizing about it and the name burrowed deep into my brain, like that squid-like creature baby in Holly’s stomach in the movie Prometheus after she made love with the dude who was infected by the “black goo.”

I suffered many late nights trying to piece together if it could be true, like a 33-year-old chubby, balding male Carrie Matheson from Homeland with three yards of string, several packs of Post-it notes, and a whiteboard. I was Ace Ventura in the shower trying to figure out who police lieutenant Einhorn really was after sharing a passionate makeout right before the eureka moment when he realized she was disgraced Miami Dolphins place kicker ‘Ray Finkle’ post-sex change. “Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle.” In the deep throes of befuddlement, I muttered to myself “Burgers at speakeasies, speakeasies and burgers?”

My burger world was thrown upside down. I knew that I was going to have to test this for myself to make sure that this wasn’t some Truman Show-esque experiment orchestrated by Ed Harris to provide 24/7 entertainment to home viewers at my expense. So, post-Tuesday night workout, I grabbed my finest Pure tote bag and a raggedy old black sweatshirt that I cleaned BBQ sauce stains off of earlier in the day and headed to The Diplomat in H Code.

It was time to settle this literal and metaphorical burger beef once and for all.

Croque Hong Kong: Ain’t No Such Things as Halfway Croques

December 15, 2023December 15, 2023Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

As the boys from Queensbrisdge, Mobb Deep, so timelessly rapped, “Son, they shook, ‘Cause ain’t no such things as halfway ~~crooks~~ croques.” And boy, am I shook. Because I just found out that every croque monsieur I’ve ever eaten in my life has been a “halfway croque.” Granted, I’ve only been to France as an enfant terrible, naively and boorishly satiated by chicken nuggets, artificial (mutant) macaroni and cheese, and Capri suns.

But today, I became a man. No. Scratch that. Today, I became a Monsieur. Complete with a black three-piece suit, bushy mustache, and monocle like the Monopoly Man. That’s all thanks to a newcomer to the SoHo restaurant scene, Croque, a new age, vibrant, cheesy oasis of unique (and classic) takes on a French classic – the croque monsieur.

Does An Choi in Sheung Wan Pass the Authentic Vietnamese Taste Test?

November 26, 2023May 16, 2024Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

Tucked away on Mercer Street, a succinct unassuming feeder thoroughfare to Bonham Strand and a stone’s throw away from the Murderer’s Row of Hong Kong lunch specials (Jervois Street), An Choi is “the answer” to Hong Kong’s desperate plea for high-quality, authentic Vietnamese fare that not only ensures you don’t go home hungry but are transported back to a cragged, bustling, back alley Saigonese noodle, banh mi, and spring roll haunt in the process.

Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I was skeptical at first. Having spent over one year living in Ho Chi Minh City, I was accustomed to authentic Vietnamese cuisine at an affordable price, served with several sides of chaos, character, and chili (pepper), and I was convinced it was impossible to replicate in this beleaguered, prohibitively expensive, and gastronomically stagnant city (in my humble, uneducated opinion).

I’m happy I was proved wrong.

Slice-Testing the Roman Pizza Hype at Hong Kong’s Alice Pizza

November 6, 2023November 6, 2023Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

Located in the heart of Wan Chai (but the part less rife with sin and hedonism) and pronounced ‘Ah-lee-cheh’ (not ‘Al’is’), Alice Pizza is the answer to Hong Kong’s (surprising) Roman-style ‘in teglia’ pizza void. Somehow finding myself with more Italian friends than I ever realized I’d acquire in this lifetime, and sitting next to a certified Roman in my office, the buzz surrounding Alice Pizza is something I’ve hungrily watched them signal to one another via a variety of exuberant hand gestures for the last several months.

I knew it was time I tried it so I could hit them with a double finger purse and “Mamma mia!’ to prove my relevance – as my daily ‘Buongiorno’s’ were slowly losing their linguistic luster. So I took to the viae and strata (“took to the streets”) to taste-test Alice for myself and see if this pan-baked, rectangular, thin-slice pizza pie hype was justified. I veni’ed, I vidi’ed, and I pizzi’ed, all in the name of finding my Calpurnia of the pizza world.

Here’s what I found.

A Tempestuous, Tonkotsu Tryst at Ramen Bari-Uma in Central

November 2, 2023November 10, 2023Asia, Food, Hong Kong BigBody Leave a Comment

After three months back in Hong Kong (post-Japan stint), to say that I’ve been on a ramen kick is an understatement. I’ve touched on this in several other posts but other than ramen, I find most Japanese cuisine in Hong Kong to be exorbitantly priced. This Big Body wants consistent, high-quality, affordable Japanese fare (and nama beerus) that brings me back to my days falling off izakaya bar stools and waking up naked in the hallway of my Tokyo hotel (I wish I was joking).

Well, I found it and am thankful to Ramen Bari-Uma for delivering that shameful, delicious nostalgia in a piping hot bowl of tonkotsu-based ramen loaded with fat slabs of char siu. I like big cuts of char siu and I cannot lie.

By now, I’ve almost eaten through the entire menu at this bustling Lan Kwai Fong ramen haunt. Initially, I was in it for Bari-Uma’s spicy, rich tonkotsu ramens with thick cut slabs of fatty char siu (that I’d have to dial down a tad with nori slices by the dozen). But as I worked my way through, I found several new favorite dishes that have kept me coming back, at minimum, one per week for the last 3 months. Because of this, it’s only right that I dedicate an entire ~~love song~~ post to this ramen joint that should definitely be on your radar.

An Ode to Tonkatsu: Getting Gastronomically Biblical With Porky in Osaka

October 29, 2023November 10, 2023Asia, Food, Japan BigBody Leave a Comment

Oh, Tonkatsu. Eating. Hungry. Dipping my pork in Worcestershire. Golden brown, comfort, so many cutlets. Served by the Ton-katsu. Love it more than my third pet who lived to be 19 years old, a ton-Cat-su. Crunchy, refreshing cabbage, offsets the sweet fibrous meat and sour, tangy sauce. My mother’s name. Ton-kat-Sue. Fin. [Snap, snap, snap, snap – bow].

Alright. Now that we’ve got that nonsensical idiocy out of the way. Let’s talk about “the other, other beef.” Pork. Tonkatsu is a slept-on Japanese dish that doesn’t get the love it deserves when traveling to Japan. I mean, what’s not to love?

It’s a deep-fried pork cutlet liberally coated in breadcrumbs and cooked to a medium rare, pinkish hue (but don’t worry – it’s high-quality pork) that retains more moisture than what’s expelled by an exasperated Daffy Duck quacking “suffering succotash” at Porky Pig. Unfortunately, in this scenario, Daffy and the Looney Tunes all end up slicing and dicing poor Porky, deep frying him, and serving him up for the Warner Bros lot with a side of chopped cabbage.

During my three months in Japan, I ate a lot of tonkatsu. All of it was great. However, there were two tonkatsu restaurants that won me over during my time in Osaka. Here is a bit about the institution of tonkatsu and why I’ve compiled this dedicated mixtape of late-90s and early-2000s bangers in written form, expressing my admiration, respect, and love for this Japanese dish.

Exploring Hiroshima’s Underground Oyakodon Movement at Torisanwa

October 15, 2023October 15, 2023Asia, Food, Japan BigBody Leave a Comment

You know how in your quest to find a spectacular new restaurant in whatever country you’re traveling to, you’ll inevitably stumble on a social media influencer’s page who has an oddly well-produced, 30-second video vignette highlighting that restaurant or specific dish (with not another single customer in sight), and suddenly be overcome with this compulsion to eat there even though you know deep down it isn’t going to live up to the hype?

Of course, after arriving, reality hits as you see the two-hour line of other platitudinal travelers eagerly awaiting what turns out to be a meal you could have eaten 100 meters down the street, at one-half the price, and of better quality. Well, this post is to hopefully make you think twice before giving in to that urge.

This post is a call to (eating) arms to avoid settling for the most obvious choice (sometimes). Poke around, open that door that you’re unsure what’s behind it (unless it’s someone’s apartment), walk into a restaurant where you know it will elicit stares and awkwardness as you ask in broken Japanese if there are any available seats, step outside your comfort zone. You might just find the best oyakodon (or other beloved Japanese dish) you’ll ever eat in your life. I did.

Here’s a little bit about how this three-seat oyakodon counter in a supermarket at the bottom of a shopping mall in Hiroshima completely caught me by surprise, bringing me both tremendous joy and sadness at the same time. Joy because I knew this was the apex of what a fantastic oyakodon should be and sadness because I was set to leave Hiroshima the next day.