Kirinya Honmachihonten: the Inspiration Behind the Greatest Udon Noodle Commercial of All Time

Picture this. A family of five sitting around their dining room table after a long day of work and school. The oldest, texting. The father, stoic in demeanor, like Kevin Arnold’s father in The Wonder Years. The mother, probing her youngest about the school day. It’s dimly lit. A slight tapping of the piano can be heard as an incandescent bulb casts an ever-so-slight golden glow over five ceramic bowls of thick white noodles. A voice, smoother than Siri, begins… ‘I don…’ The pregnant pause ends. ‘You don’. A piano begins to crescendo, joined in triumph by a thundering timpani. ‘We don’, ‘Everybody don’. The climax cuts to dead silence as the screen fades to black. ‘Udon’.

That’s my million billion-dollar commercial that I am yet to direct for the entirety of udon (commissioned by the Japanese government) – not even on behalf of one specific brand, restaurant, style, or region. But on behalf of the existence of udon as a noodle. This is also what plays in my twisted brain every single time I sit down for a bowl of udon. 

So you can imagine the horror and utter confusion of customers and staff at every single udon joint I ate at in Japan as eyes closed, cuing in imaginary actors and musicians like a deranged maestro, I directed this preposterous commercial. My magnum opus, you ask? Performed at 11:30 AM on the most unexpected of days, a Friday at Kirinya Honmachihonten.

Here’s what made it pure TV magic, destined for years of syndication, amongst the greats of the State Farm guy and Flo from Progressive Insurance. 

Kirinya Honmachihonten: Udon Salvation in an Imposing Ramen World

• Website: https://www.instagram.com/kirin__ya/ 
• Address: 3 Chome-2-2 Hiranomachi, Chuo Ward, Osaka, 541-0046, Japan

If you’ve read any of my other posts on this blog, then you may already know that I “intermittent fast.” I am somewhat militant with it and typically only eat during a several-hour eating window at night after I exercise and am winding down for the day. Now, this isn’t because I’m on some high horse but rather because I looked in the mirror about 20 months ago and saw one part ogre, two parts Bulgarian amateur weightlifter, and one part John Candy (RIP). 

My point is, I don’t typically eat during the day – unless there is something that calls me in with the penetrating, irresistible seductiveness of one thousand Agean sea sirens. I’m unsure of what it was that fateful Friday (and my second in Japan) but something overcame this Big Body. Possessed me one might argue. Overcome with a fever, for which the only prescription was more cowbell udon. So, I marched right into the first udon shop I came across on Google Maps. And it may have been one of the best decisions in my storied noodle-eating career (one day, a legacy).  

Say hello to ‘Kirinya Honmachihonten’  – a vibrant, standing Sanuki-style (popular in Kagawa prefecture) udon and tempura shop just north of Sakaisuji Hommachi in Osaka, serving up ever-so-slurpable bowls of thick wheat noodles. 

Pale Ale Travel Tip: That header is not a slight to ramen at all – just that I think that other noodle variations, especially udon and soba are sometimes overlooked (I’ve been a culprit of this myself). However, if you are in the mood for the most popular noodle in Japan (ramen), make sure to check out my guide to ramen in Osaka. Or, if you are in the market for soba, check out my post ‘Damn I Hate Being Soba’,

Ordering at Kirinya Honmachihonten

Let’s first get into the setup of the shop and how you go about ordering. Upon entering and making my way to the counter, I was presented with a laminated placard in English that directed me to pick up a tray when I was ready to order, approach the counter to select tempura (if I was so inclined), garnish it, pay, and return to grab my udon after it was expertly prepared. 

Don’t stress at all. Part of the adventure in Japan is recognizing that you are going to be a bit out of place, unsure how to proceed, and inevitably committing some faux pas. Still, I nervously fumbled with my wallet of yen, returned to my standing position, realized I was taking up two standing slots, and moved over to the window. 

Side Note: This Big Body isn’t particularly dexterous with his chopsticks when his elbow is right in his own gut, so my best blue polo suffered some collateral damage that day. 

11:30 AM is technically breakfast time (as far as I’m concerned) so I opted for a small cold udon with dipping broth – which ran me just under 500 yen (USD 3.40).

Udon Know Me, Son!

As that clinically insane, motivational speaker and former Navy Seal David Goggins loves to scream while repping three plates to the max – ‘Udon know me, son! You don’t know me, son!”

Kirinya Honmachihonten’s udon is unpretentious. While you might be wondering just how much flavor can come from such minimal ingredients, you’d be surprised. I’ve highlighted this in other posts on the site but all restaurants I encountered in Japan took pride and care in ensuring noodle quality, texture, and integrity were paramount. Kirinya Honmachihonten is no different. 

Whether it is the thickness of the noodles, the chilled refreshing firmness (for cold udon), the chewy texture with a slight bounce, or the mildly wheaty (sometimes sour) taste, there are a lot of reasons to love this dish. Sanuki-style udon is typically much squarer and flatter in shape than other regional variations and is known for its chewier texture.

What I especially love about udon is the slippery (sometimes called ‘slimy’) feel. This is due to the remaining starch still on the outside of the noodle. 

It makes me feel like I’m noodling – you know, where tobacco chewing, blue jean overall wearing, straw hat donning Billy Bobs and Susie Joes blindly put their arm in a catfish’s underwater hole, let it bite down on their arm, and then wrestle it to shore – but with my mouth. 

Side note: Once, while eating at a catfish restaurant in Budapest, I asked the staff if they had ever heard of noodling. They hadn’t. So I showed them a video of noodling in the South. One employee looked at me and said, “This is very crazy.” I nodded. 

There are countless options for how you can order your udon at Kirinya Honmachihonten – if you like it hot, served in a slightly salty, soul-warming broth, they’ve got you covered. Maybe you want it cold, like the heart of that girl I dated in high school when she told me she “hated my laugh.” No problem. Or how about topping it with a raw egg for extra silky richness? You betcha. 

One important note: While Kirinya Honmachihonten has an English menu for their udon, they do not for their tempura. So I would recommend having a translation app handy or learning a few characters for different types of tempura you might want (e.g. prawn, eggplant, yam).

Here’s a POV shot like that Rad Omen music video where they dress up as iconic fast food characters and film themselves as they go on a drug and booze-fueled bender across the city. It’s tempting not to slug this like a shot of tequila. Especially considering it is far more flavorful and enjoyable – and won’t leave you making those old man groaning sounds in the morning before a McDonald’s run.

How do you not love that little shot glass of soy sauce dashi? 

For reference, this is referred to as ‘tsuyu’ or ‘mentsuyu’. It’s a salty, pungent (yet not overpowering), and savory dipping sauce that popularly accompanies cold udon. It typically consists of soy sauce, mirin, dashi, and sugar. At Kirinya Honmachihonten, the tsuyu erred on the saltier and more pungent side due to it being Sanuki-style (where the broth is made with dried young sardines) and its incorporation of fresh green onions.

Thanks to the integrity and slipperiness of the noodles, the tsuyu was never more than a light glaze to enhance an already fortified bastion of flavor.

Life Should Go (Ud)on

“Good people, good drinks, good udon. Got me thinking this is how life should go.” – Big Sean

If you’re passing through Osaka (or live there), you will be in noodle heaven. While these restaurant write-ups I do are to showcase a spot that made a lasting impression on me, just know that they are a drop in the bucket of infinite restaurants that will make your palate and taste buds dance. 

It really is the most unsuspecting spot that will catch you by surprise so I encourage everyone to lean into getting lost, going off the beaten path, and walking into a random restaurant (udon or not). Kirinya Honmachihonten was the epitome of this mantra. 

If you have any favorite udon or noodle haunts in Osaka (or the Kansai region), I’d love to hear from you in the comments or via email (info@palealetravel.com). Or, if you are planning a trip to Japan and would like any recommendations, I’m more than happy to provide insight where I can. 

Eat well everyone,

Big Body