Does Schnitzel & Schnaps Do Central European-Inspired Fare Justice?

I had low expectations for finding quality schnitzel in Hong Kong after several failed attempts over on Kowloon and was quickly losing hope that I would be able to recreate my most memorable and formative Vienna days in fried, frisbee-sized form. At one point, I even considered putting in an offer for a newborn calf at a farm out in the New Territories, purchasing a small plot of grassland on Robinson Road, and picking up a meat tenderizer from Japan Home Centre.

That was until I spotted the borderline-kitsch, Santa’s village of green and gold decor that one day was erected on the ever-bustling second road built in the colony of Hong Kong –  Hollywood Road – where life begins and ends for most Mid-Levels 9-8’ers and self-anointed IFC elites. 

Skeptical, I donned my finest lederhosen, perched atop the Conduit escalator delta, and sent out a rallying cry yodel for all to hear, eagerly awaiting my Hong Kong Julie Andrewses and David Hasselhoffs to bound towards me, clogs clip-clopping up the stainless steel steps with the might of one thousand Clydesdales, in a jovial hunger. Rosy-cheeked and out of breath, they would bashfully inquire, “Vat is it, Grandpapa?” “Over the river and through the woods, to Schnitzel & Schnaps we go,” I’d triumphantly proclaim, plucking at my suede leather suspenders while rubbing my belly and patting an adolescent von Trapp on the head. 

However, that was just a dream and I instead decided to stop in on a Thursday night, sweaty and wearing my third-finest pair of Adidas athletic shorts, after a long day of merciless lashings by ungrateful, entitled clients. I was thankfully accompanied by one of my top herrs, who is about as German as Häagen-Dazs. 

Website, Address, & Details: 

• Website: https://www.schnitzelandschnaps.hk 
• Address: G/F, C Wisdom Center, 35 Hollywood Rd, Central
• Price: $$ – My total for 2 cost roughly HKD$1,400 (USD 180) – however, more than a few drinks were consumed.
• Happy Hour: 3 PM to 7 PM Daily. 

P.S. This review/breakdown of Schnitzel & Schnaps is long overdue thanks to a six-month stint out of Hong Kong and I will strive to update this post with more recent pictures as soon as I return. 

Ba Da Da Da Da, Umlaut-vin’ It

I think I’m going to stop with all my German/Central European puns for now. But I’ll still slip a few in here and there. Everything came out at roughly the same time which was alright since we were hungry hungry Hermans (Arminius – the German chieftain who terrorized Rome). Ah…damn. That didn’t work out for me. 

The potato rosti is your standard grated potato dish that you can find at most Central European restaurants. Its shredded crispy golden outer layer, which looks almost as if you coated the pan in college dorm ramen noodles, breaks open to reveal a slightly overcooked fluffy inside of well-seasoned, buttery potatoes. Served with a thick applesauce and sour cream (as you can tell I omitted the latter), this is one dish that you can arguably eat at the beginning or end of your meal. 

When I mention that it’s slightly overcooked, that’s more than perfectly acceptable for me – it’s preferred. It’s a nice contrast to the crispy cocoon that encapsulates the pan and makes it more than a one-trick pony texture-wise. It’s a two-trick pony.

Pale Ale Travel Tip: If you are in Hong Kong and in the market for salty, potato-stuffed pillows of joy, and cabbage rolls – how could I forget the cabbage rolls? – make sure to check out my post on Dacha, an Eastern European restaurant serving up traditional comfort food and vodkas.  

We split the ‘4-kinds of sausage platter’ which came with sizable links of Silesian, Munich, Nurnburger rostbratwurst spiral, and Vienna spiral sausages. Other than Vienna spiral and Munich sausages, I would reckon that there’s a 10% chance the other terms are completely imaginary and made up (I’m joking and I apologize to my 1 German-speaking reader out there). Of all the dishes, the sausage platter is definitely not their forte but served as a filling, familiar pre-game to what we all came here for.

They really just seemed to miss that palpable snap that we know and love when biting in, which I suspect is because they may be used with collagen casings rather than intestinal. Also, I do know that wursts are meant to be cooked in fat (or oil) to crisp up the casing and prevent it from breaking, which I would hazard a guess that they quick-timed it (at least for my order). 

Pale Ale Travel Tip: I would be remiss not to mention the sides. The sauerkraut was binge-worthy and struck a nice balance between salty and sour, while the potato salad (which was definitely mayonnaise-based) was quickly transferred to my buddy’s plate after my first bite (not because it wasn’t quality but because you know of my tumultuous history with mayonnaise). German potato salad is usually a safe bet for me because of its use of vinegar rather than mayo so this was a bit surprising to stray from tradition here. 

Now onto the main event – Schnitzel & Schnaps’ eponymously titled mixtape ‘Schnitzel’. For this Big Body, the ideal schnitzel achieves a subtle balance of three key components: flavor, texture, and presentation. 

First, it should be huge (I’m going in reverse order here) – like if Cyrano De Bergerac’s nose was tenderized, butterflied, fried, and garnished with a lemon wedge. Check. This was a formidable disc of tender, golden fried veal that I split with my gastronomical ‘bruder’. For its hefty price tag of HKD$350, I would strongly argue that you actually aren’t being ripped off. Something, something about economics and the ‘Schnitzel Index’. I digress. 

Second, texture is driven by properly tenderized, thin, veal cutlets and the egalitarian coating with breadcrumbs. Schnitzel & Schnaps’ signature wiener schnitzel sports a light, shallow outer fry coating that protects against oily excess and sogginess, yielding a satisfying crunch upon biting in. The tenderized, lean veal stands firm in its symbiotic relationship with the light exterior. 

Third and most importantly, Schnitzel & Schnaps’ wiener schnitzel taste test can hang with the best of them. The tender, delicate veal had a hint of sweetness which was a nice little added value to an otherwise neutral and unassuming flavor profile. However, that unpretentious subtly makes it the perfect conduit to be incubated in a batter and fried. 

A small but necessary detail is the inclusion of a lemon wedge to cut through the fried shell and act as a palette cleanser between bites. It also makes the dish feel slightly healthier – which is a-ok in my book anytime I eat fried food.

My only complaint is that their Jägerschnitzel is chicken rather than veal. However, I don’t think it would be out of the question to ask them to decorate your standard wiener schnitzel with mushrooms and cream sauce so this is me just being finicky. 

Pale Ale Travel Tip: One thing that caught me off guard in a positive way is the fact that Schnitzel & Schnaps has the popular deep-fried Hungarian flatbread ‘Lángos’ on the menu. While I’m not a huge fan due to it being smothered in sour cream, it is a favorite snack of my mother (who spends significant time in Hungary) and brings me back to better days when I shared an apartment in Budapest’s Jewish Quarter with one of my best friends in 2018. 

At points, it feels as if there is the indiscriminate placement of Central European staples on the menu as depending on the night, you could claim you went out for ‘German’, ‘Polish’, ‘Austrian’, or Hungarian (and probably others I’m forgetting). But with Hong Kong’s Central European expat populations quickly diminishing (with an already small piece of the gweilo pie to begin with), continuity never truly seemed threatened to begin with. 

It’s hot and it’s cold (insert Katy Perry reference here), it’s gooey, it’s sweet, and it’s the perfect dessert. It brings me back to getting loaded off Sturm (a fermented grape drink) with a busty 80-year-old tavern keeper in Vienna one fall. Schnitzel & Schnaps’ apfelstrudel more than passes muster with its flaky, sugar-powdered pockets of sweet, tart filling. The apples, thinly sliced and seasoned (with cinnamon) do not draw attention away from the light, flaky crust wrapped around it – which for me is the test of a strudel worth going back for. 

The vanilla ice cream (definitely store-bought but that’s alright in my book) provides necessary textural contrast which undercuts the slight hits of cinnamon and kicks up the richness of the dish tenfold. It gave me flashbacks to the month in Bratislava where I subsisted on apple strudel and borovička (their juniper berry gin that somehow tastes like vodka and will leave you shirtless gambling in Banco Casino at 6 AM with a rotund Slovakian man in an Adidas tracksuit – I somehow went back for three days straight after that night). 

Everybody Schnapp Your Hands

The only thing lacking about the schnapps at Schnitzel & Schnaps is that I’m not (nor was I ever) an old witch living in a gingerbread house with a penchant for the taste of small German children – as I imagine nothing cleanses the palette more and aids in the digestion of fattened up adolescents cooked in the oven better than a shot of plum brandy. Who said it first, “Hansel, he’s so hot right now.” a medieval German witch or Mugatu from Zoolander?

I may or may not have required a cleansing, hearty Paulaner Dunkel to warm me up after a day out in the ice-cold, 38-degree (Celsius) Hong Kong tundra. There’s not too much to say about a Paulaner Dunkel dark lager other than it’s as if you liquified a loaf of bread that was dipped in toffee. I drink approximately 2 per year in Asia and there’s a reason why – they just don’t fit in Hong Kong except for about 4 days in the winter when it gets cold enough for me to break out a long-sleeved Tommy Bahama. 

Made from distilled green walnuts, this dark liqueur was nuttier than Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor. That was a pretty crappy simile. Aged, aromatic, and surprisingly smooth, it made me forget my minor walnut allergy that makes my lips swell up like Darcy from 90 Day Fiance after her tri-weekly Botox session. After making friends with Italians, walnut liqueur is now a requisite for me anytime I see it on the menu as psychologically, I am convinced its digestive powers are real.

Plum schnapps is really the only schnapps that I’m easily able to pinpoint exactly what flavor drives its aromatic constitution. Also, having previously spent three months holed up in a small apartment in Split, Croatia like one of the many screenwriting revolutionaries I encountered one summer at an Epping, New Hampshire Starbucks, I know the taste of Slivovitz well. 

This blue plum schnapps was slightly oily, perfect for coating the throat and stomach during long winter nights in a Montana cabin while plotting the demise of industrial, modern society as we know it – only to be later identified by a skeptical sister-in-law. The flavor is more complex than just a bottle of standard kitchen olive oil though. Slivovitz is aromatic, erring on the side of almost overly fruity (while never actually crossing that arbitrary line I’ve defined), boasting a slightly acidic finish that keeps your throat, body, and soul nice and toasty. 

Pears are underrated fruits as far as I’m concerned but they just carry so much excess water that it really does lead to a much more diluted, dialed-down schnapps. The above pear schnapps and its more neutral body is a nice contrast to the typical snake bites of acidity that the back of my throat masochistically enjoys. Overall this makes for a smooth sipping experience and I would definitely recommend the pear schnapps to anyone looking to whet their lips (or beak, I do have 1 reader who identifies as a peregrine falcon) and get their first taste of schnapps. 

Not pictured is a shot of Schnitzel & Schnaps’ asparagus schnapps, which really is unrecognizable as being asparagus unless you were told beforehand. It possesses the same typical acidic punch as the others but with an additional garlicky note that gives away something from your grandmother’s garden that made its way into the distillation process. 

Does Schnitzel & Schnaps Do Central European Cuisine Justice?

“At night, Nosferatu sinketh his fangs into schnitzel and feedeth on its clarified butter.” -Nosferatu (1922)

I’m always hesitant to write about new-ish restaurants that have popped up in Hong Kong (even though we are going on a year-plus at this point) due to the uncertainty of their staying power. The food and beverage landscape is even more fickle and volatile than it already was, something we quickly figured out during the pandemic. Authoritarian rule doesn’t care about your kielbasa and apfelstrudel dreams. “You will eat bugs and you will like it!” – Klaus Schwab.

However, Schnitzel & Schnaps emphatically does Central European-inspired fare justice in Hong Kong and I would wholeheartedly recommend it for anyone looking for a taste of home or comfort food, or to fuel their alcoholism with something other than vodka sodas at Cassio at 2 AM. 

Let’s throw back a shot of asparagus schnapps while roaring with laughter over the newest 90 Day Fiance episode, or sip it daintily while discussing Keynesian inflation models and how Mozart’s Jupiter Symphony (his last) is overrated (Big Body is Symphony No 31. all the way – Paris Symphony). 

If you live in Hong Kong (or are traveling through) and have a favorite schnitzel restaurant that you recommend, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I’m always on the lookout for Central European-inspired restaurants in my home city as it is the primary cuisine I grew up eating (thanks to my mother’s upbringing in a Hungarian-dominated neighborhood in New Jersey in the 60s). 

Eat well everyone,

Big Body