Versailles Cuban Restaurant: Delicioso o Trampa para Turistas Decepciónante?

While I don’t habla the Español, I think I was built for ox tails, roast pork, empanadas, and Galician white bean soup the second I stepped foot onto this earth. Looking back, everything in my life has seemed to serendipitously lead up and prepare me for my first visit to Versailles Cuban Restaurant, a 370 seater on Calle Ocho (8th Street) in Little Havana, Miami. 

For example, in fourth grade, we had a gringo Texan with a bushy mustache, cowboy hat, and faux spurs, eat pork rinds and teach us several words of broken Spanish for 30 minutes each week. I also watched the first season of Money Heist with English subtitles and would excruciatingly repeat Spanish phrases to my Mallorcan buddy over after-work beers. “Y soy Allison Parker.” And, in Little League, I was jeeringly referred to as ‘El Guapo’, a reference to the portly Venezuelan relief pitcher for the Red Sox, Rich Garcés.

So, I was ecstatic to test my utter lack of Spanish skills and plenitude of hunger at what’s widely considered to be the ‘World’s Most Famous Cuban Restaurant’ on an illustrious trip down to the Sunshine State with my top dawg. 

Was Versailles really all that it’s hyped up to be? Is it muy bien or mal sabor? Here are my íntegro thoughts on whether Versailles Restaurant in Miami is worth it. 

Pale Ale Travel Note: As I don’t speak any Spanish, I tried my best to translate the title ‘Versailles Cuban Restaurant: Delicious or Disappointing Tourist Trap?’. Please let me know the correct translation in the comments!

A Miami Institution of Cuban Gastronomy, Heritage, & Protest

This actually turned out to be one of my favorite pictures I took.

Website, Address, & Details: https://www.versaillesrestaurant.com/ 

• Location: 3555 SW 8th St, Miami, Florida 33135
• Price: $ – $$ – Extremely reasonable prices for all comida, with appetizers clocking in from $4 to $10 and main plates anywhere from $12 to $30 (and family platters for $50 to $60). Coffee is exceptionally affordable, around $1 to $4 (depending on size/style). Cervezas are a modest $5 to $6 (exponentially cheaper than bars), while cocktails run a tad pricier between $8 to $10. 

First, let’s address the elefante in the habitación. Other than the occasional Cuban sandwich, I can’t say I’ve ever sampled authentic Cuban food in my life. That’s not out of purposefully avoiding it. It’s just a reality of being from the ethnically homogenous state of New Hampshire and relocating to the other side of the world (Hong Kong) nearly a decade ago. 

Hint: There is a glaring lack of any sort of Caribbean cuisine in both places.

Does that make me any less qualified to write this review? Absolutely. Is this review a critical one where I dive into the sensory and gastronomic convulsions each bite produced followed by sanctimonious (and absurd) conclusions about… No way, José. 

This is a celebration of a cuisine that I’m guessing many people, like me, have never been exposed to, and a call to action to get off your burro (or burra) and make your way down to the heart of Miami’s Cuban culture, Little Havana. 

Pale Ale Travel Note: Versailles has free parking! I don’t know why I found it so hilarious but after circling the free parking lot more than a handful of times, my buddy took a gamble and pulled up right in front of the restaurant, where there was a tight spot. He took his time inching in, reversing, inching in some more, reversing, rinsing, and repeating, while a large crowd waited within arm’s reach for Versailles’ famous croquetas and coffee at the famous walk-up window (“La Ventanita”). 

The bakery adjacent.

Now, a little bit about the ‘World’s Most Famous Cuban Restaurant’. Versailles is one part restaurant, one part cafe, one part croquette takeout, one part outdoor cocktail terrace, and several parts Caribbean collective effervescence. That’s a lot of parts. 

First opened in 1971, it quickly became a go-to dining haunt for local Cuban exiles and tourists (and even celebrities), becoming an indelible landmark not just for preserving Cuban heritage and serving staples like palomilla steaks, croquettes, and paella but also for anti-communism protests (and symposium on how to topple Castro’s regime), campaign forums for presidential candidates, and heated political discussions over Cuban politics.  

In 1998, Versailles expanded from just their 370-seat dining room to an on-site bakery (“Versailles Bakery”) to ensure that all bread, pastries, and desserts were made in-house and served fresh. Versailles doesn’t feel like you’re stepping into a restaurant, but rather a Cuban complex of gastronomic (and political) history. 

Head over to the patio bar for a drink while you wait!

You’ll almost certainly need to wait to be seated in the main dining room. However, Versailles is a well-oiled operation that operates with an efficiency you’d expect in New England, not South Florida. Easing any length of wait is Versailles’ outdoor patio serving up spicy pina coladas, mojitos, and alcoholic watermelon cocktails (I can’t remember exactly what it was). 

Gustatorial santería is right around the corner. 

I have no idea what this watermelon booze drink I ordered was but it was goddamn refreshing.

The 370-strong dining room is a mix of what appears to be leftover stained glass from a Santiago (Catholic) church, metal leather-backed banquet chairs from a keno parlor, imitation chandeliers from a community theater production of Beauty and the Beast, and an occasional 10-foot rectangular mirror to keep patrons humble when debating whether to order that second Cuban Style Flan or not. 

Love the vibe here.

Waiters and waitresses dressed in a mix of signature pine green polos, expertly ironed white tuxedo shirts with black bow ties, and green and white striped dress shirts bob and weave in and out of the restaurant and across the dining room, vociferously calling out customers whose turn it is to take the stairway to empanada heaven, pirouetting as they place piping hot plates of pigs feet, Cuban tamales, and chicharrones before eager diners. 

There’s a controlled Cuban chaos to it all, a chaos that has been neatly polished over 50 years of service. 

Pale Ale Travel Note: The only thing I’m not a huge fan of inside the main dining area is the large horizontal plane mirrors on several of the walls, as I had recently come off a righteous bender and was not looking my best. It’s never fun staring down the face of a bloated corpse and realizing it’s you. My suggestion to Versailles, install those mirrors that take 15 to 20 pounds off a person. 

Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Cuisine at Versailles

That’s right. The header of this section is a reference to one of my favorite rap albums ‘Only Built 4 Cuban Linx’ by Raekwon. 

First, the menu is gigantic. Usually, I’m skeptical of anywhere that lists more than 20 items for consumption but Versailles is emphatically carrying the depth of Cuban cuisine on its back. 

From codfish fritters, ceviche, fufu con masitas (mashed plantains with fried pork chunks), and a smattering of soups, to grilled chicken slathered in a citrusy, aromatic mojo sauce, whole deep-fried red snapper, shrimp in creole sauce, roast pork, and breaded beef steak Milanese, I can’t imagine there’s too many Cuban dishes out there that are left off this menu. 

Cuban and croquette sandwiches don’t even need to be transcribed (to ease your mind) in this post as they were anchored on the menu the day it opened. 

Galician White Bean Soup

You can see the chunks of ham poking out.

As a New Englander, I love my soups. Nothing warms the soul and leaves me feeling more content than a piping hot cup and/or bowl of nutrient-dense (and hydrating) goodness. 

I think I love them because they are nostalgic. Some of my best memories as a kid are hunkering down on the couch with a bowl of soup while watching Sword in the Stone. So, it was inevitable that I’d land on the Galician white bean soup as the first of my several appetizers.

Now this is a ‘soup action shot’ if I ever did see one.

It was especially during the week I was in Miami, so what better way to warm up than with one of Cuba’s (and Spain’s) ultimate comfort foods? It’s a mix of rich, earthy, and savory morsels contrasted with a light but flavorful broth that emits hints of ham hock. The white beans, both tender and creamy, pick up hints of the smoky (salty) cured meat broth, ultimately rendering a nutty, creamy, textured mouthful. 

If my meal was just a big vat of Versailles’ bean soup, I’d be more than fine calling it a day.

Assorted Empanadas

I considered bringing one of these home to rest my weary head on but then my hunger got the best of me.

Yes, that’s right, I ate all three of those assorted pillow-sized empanadas (beef, chicken, and ham). My buddy is far more modest in his eating than I am so he stuck to one meal like a normal person. However, he’s eaten at Versailles a dozen times over, so he was in less of a rush to get a taste of the full spectrum of their Cuban offerings. 

The shredded chicken.

These empanadas were capital T ‘THICC’, like a Clydesdale horse’s bootay. Each, extremely well seasoned, rich in flavor, tender, and herbaceous thanks to the accompanying cilantro and lime yogurt dip. I’m a cheese man through and through, so the ham and cheese croquette took the W thanks to its creamy, salty, smooth, melty interior. 

Imagine if a Hot Pocket wasn’t made with grade-D meat and dusty dough and instead prioritized fresh, quality proteins and crispy, buttery, golden brown crusts. 

Braised Oxtail With White Rice & Sweet Plantains

I can’t exactly pinpoint the moment I started loving oxtail (never hated them) but since then, if it’s on the menu, it’s almost guaranteed I’m ordering it. 

I mean, what’s not to love about slow-cooked, fall-off-the-bone, savory, aromatic, and intensely ‘beefy’ tasting nourishment that essentially tastes like a better, more tender short rib (and I love short ribs)? Especially when it’s slow-cooked in red wine, tomato, garlic, onion, and spice-infused sauce. 

It’s luxurious, tangy, subtly sweet, and viscous, ensuring every crevice of the oxtail is permeated with this divine concoction. 

I’m always #TeamRice over #TeamPasta so this was perfect.

Served with a side of sweet fried plantains and rice, you just found your new favorite meal. When I say I should be eating more plantains in my diet, I ain’t lyin’. They’re sweet, soft, tender, and filling.

I love a good banana but you’re never walking away full after. With over 50 years of frying sweet plantains, I knew I was in good hands at Versailles. They almost looked like chicken wings thanks to their glossy, golden brown color. 

Tell me that ain’t sexy.

Finally, any sort of Caribbean or South American white rice far outdoes the white rice I grew up eating in New Hampshire. I think it’s because there’s always a dash of citrus sprinkled in. It’s perfect for sopping up the silky almost velvety red wine sauce or eaten plain.

Pale Ale Travel Note: Big shout-out to our Gen Z Cuban waiter, Damien, who was extremely patient with my dawg and me, fielding all questions we had about the dishes, explaining customer favorites and what he considers to be the most authentic, and recommending cortaditos to finish the meal. 

A Cortadito to Finish

The perfect end to a meal.

My not-so-civilized consumption of all three empanadas, bean soup, and every last bit of the braised oxtail had me feeling like Mrs. Puff in Spongebob so I decided against dessert. 

However, should I have opted for something sweet, I’d have not been without options thanks to the 25-plus dessert options on Versailles’ menu. A gaggle of flans here, a murder of cheesecakes there, a drove of traditional Central and South American staples like the tres leches cake, sweet potato custard, and guava and cheese pie to boot. 

If I wasn’t already planning to purchase a larger belt in the following hours, I would have undoubtedly ordered the classic tres leches (sponge cake with three types of milk). 

I was somehow in sound enough shape to take Damien (our waiter) up on his suggestion to slug a cortadito for digestive and caffeinating good measure. I’m glad I did. 

I’m unsure if I’ve ever had a smaller coffee in my life. But I’m about 99% sure that’s what the ‘ito’ means in Spanish, ‘small’. Just tack it onto the end of a word and boom, that’s a smaller version. Big Body-ito (does that make me a “Normal Body” then?). 

I was not expecting this thimble of sweet, rich, creamy Cuban espresso to pack as much flavor as it did, so I asked Damien what the sitch was and why it was so good. Evaporated milk. As someone who lived in Vietnam for a year, where evaporated/condensed milk is the norm in coffees, essentially resulting in 500-calorie coffee milkshakes, I was in heaven. 

Is Versailles in Miami Worth It?

This was actually taken in Brickell (downtown Miami).

I’m not going to pretend that I’m the absolute truth on any one eating or drinking institution (or activity) in Miami. I mean, I only spent several days there and most of it was posted up in Brickell with an unquenchable Marlins Lager in my hand. 

Are there hordes of tourists that go here? Yes. Will you have to wait in line for 20 to 30 minutes before getting the nod to enter? Probably. But is there an equal, if not bigger, number of actual Cubans and Miami locals posted up here, devouring goddamn delicioso ham shanks, roast pork sandwiches, shredded chicken, and sweet plantains by the ‘barco-load’? Absolutamente.

Versailles is a full-on Cuban experience that epitomizes everything the multicultural dream was envisioned to be and should definitely be on your eating radar when visiting Miami. 

In all my eating travels, Versailles has emphatically stood out as a place where what’s served before you is only a single component of what makes it so special. It’s the whole enchilada. The patio drinks, navigating, putting your name down on the waiting list only using Spanish, stepping back in time via its dated yet homestyle interior, and a frenetic, historic energy that I’m not sure could be replicated elsewhere in the United States. 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments or via email (info@palealetravel.com) if you’ve been to Versailles Restaurant (or just the Bakery) in Miami and what you thought! What were your favorite dishes? How many mojitos or watermelon juices did you slug? 

If you have any questions about visiting Versailles and/or any other posts on the blog, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

Eat (and drink) well everyone,

Big Body